Review

Jan

2014

Review – Before the Fall

Before the Fall references pride.

Background

For an early Lili story, I got the idea as I was given a prompt for a story about the seven deadly sins. I chose pride.

Jonathan Frakes as Chef Will Slocum (image is for educational purposes only)

For quite a while, I had had the idea of pitting Will and Lili against each other in an Iron Chef-style competition.

Putting together the prequel idea, pride and the competition brought me directly to this story.

Plot

Naomi Watts as Lili O’Day (image is for educational purposes)

Lili is a new employee on the NX-01, recently hired by Will and so this is after both Voracious and Harvest.

It’s the middle of the Xindi War, and the crew needs a break. Apart from an extra Movie Night, what do you do for entertainment? Hence the idea for a competition was thought up.

I decided the judges would be Jonathan, Malcolm and Jay, thereby prefiguring Lili’s relationship with Malcolm and her connection to Jay, plus her failed connection, during the first E² alternate timeline, with Jonathan. The food, too, would prefigure some things, including the smoky cumin which is referenced in Temper.

Preston Jennings makes an appearance, thereby tying the story to More, More, More! He is Chef’s assistant between Daniels and Lili. Lili selects Brian Delacroix as her assistant, thereby neatly prefiguring his becoming a chef (hinted at in Reversal, and then fully realized in Together and Fortune).

Hoshi and Chip host the event, which is broadcast throughout the ship. The secret ingredient, almonds, must be incorporated into all of the dishes that Lili and Will make. Then the judges anonymously taste and decide, giving points for flavor, originality and presentation. Lili and Brian work well as a team, and poor Preston has a bit of a meltdown. As for Will, well, you know what pride goeth before, right?

Story Postings

Rating

The story is Rated K.

Upshot

I like the frenzied nature of the competition and the details about the work that goes into it. I have watched these kinds of shows more than once, and they continue to amaze me with people’s creativity and risk-taking. Plus, truth be told, it’s a bit of a slam at the Frakes character, given my annoyance with These Are the Voyages. I think it worked out pretty well.

Dec

2013

Review – November 13th

November 13th Background

November 13th works as a bridge story. It connects In Between Days to Times of the HG Wells.

For a Weekly Free Write called ‘berth of a career’, I got the idea of a messy bunk in my head, and could not get it out.

In Between Days

Adding to this idea was the Star Trek: Enterprise canon tidbit that Daniels had roomed with a slob. In order to anchor between In Between Days and Times of the HG Wells, it made sense to have a younger character.

That younger character would be connected to Daniels, hence bridging the gap between In Between Days and the deep future of The Times of the HG Wells.

Plot

Clockworks

Craig Willets, now an older man, would be dictating his memoirs, when he’d remember something quirky from his past.

The date is what triggers it for Craig. He remembers a very specific, yet puzzling, event.

On that day, back in 2151, he was just minding his own business, but was remembering his old roommate, who had left in a hurry. It had been explained to Craig that Daniels had been a time traveler. Craig wasn’t sure how he felt about that. As a slob, he has no idea, but a pair of his boots are missing.

Forward into the Past

The action then shifts to 1699, where Daniels is preparing to bed Jennifer Crossman‘s ancestor, the widow Lucretia Crossman, in Penn’s Woods. This is to be Rick’s first temporal conquest. He’s eager to get going, and then realizes that he forgot something back in 2151.

Penn’s Woods at Bowman’s Hill (Photo credit: tgpotterfield)

He excuses himself and goes to the only private place – the outhouse. While in there, he taps out a quick message to Craig and has the boots sent to November 13th, 2151. Why that date? That’s what date it is in 1699. But it does not match the date when Daniels departed from the NX-01. Craig realizes, much later, that his old roommate made a mistake with the date.

Story Postings

Rating

The story is Rated K.

Upshot

I like the slight silliness of the story, that something so mild and minor could bring the two series together.

You can find me on Google+.

Dec

2013

Review – There’s Something Else About Hoshi

Background

For a Star Trek fanfiction Weekly Free Write about setting a scene, I decided to revisit Aris and an older story, There’s Something About Hoshi.

In Between Days

In the earlier tale, Hoshi becomes irresistible when aliens inject her with a certain substance after removing some of her female hormones.

Frank Todd and T’Pol help to prevent a riot from starting on the NX-01, as all of the straight men (and, presumably, Diana Jones, who is a lesbian), are affected.

The sequel brings the story line over eighteen years into the future.

Plot

As Hoshi and her husband, Takashi, and their children, Toru and Yoshiko arrive on Aris for a visit, the head of the government, Milit, greets them.

And so, apparently, do all 5,999 other Arisian men on the planet.

Hailed as Andaara Trea Hoshi, they explain they are thanking her. They call her the initiator of the 6,000 brand-new ‘mothers of the world’. Every Arisian man is bearing some sort of a gift. Travis, who is with them, jokes that they’ll need a bigger shuttle in order to get all of the gifts back to the ship.

Politely, Hoshi declines their many offerings. These vary in size, scope and expense, but are all offered with grace. The family meets some of the newly-cloned Arisian women, including the first one, Trea Hoshi. The girls are all more or less made in Hoshi’s image. This is except for a detailed forehead pattern that marks them as Arisians.

Matchmaking on a Planetary Scale

Alpine ibex Correction: Nubian Ibex Deutsch: A…

The men explain they want to marry all of the newly-cloned girls. Hence they are ready to match them up. It seems the matches will happen through political expedience, rather than any sort of attraction. Travis and Hoshi convince the Arisians to give the gifts to the girls, and to see what happens next. The story ends with Milit announcing his engagement to one of the girls and then Hoshi telling Captain Malcolm Reed that he’d better warn Lili that she’ll need to cater a few thousand Arisian weddings.

Story Postings

Rating

The story is Rated K.

Upshot

I was so happy to go back to this story line. Because I had originally left it with hope but also dangling a bit. I can see that my storytelling abilities have improved since the original tale, too. It’s a study in contrasts for me.

You can find me on Google+.

Dec

2013

Review – The Mess

This mess should be really disturbing.

Background

In Between Days

This scene was a part of Reversal, and in Fortune, but it never really got its due until a Weekly Free Write about chores.

I wanted very much to have a story that starts off as cleaning a kitchen and then, well, what sort of dirt is it, anyway?

You don’t want to know.

Plot

On November 22nd of 2153, Lili is alone in the NX-01‘s kitchen. She is panting. The air smells like turkey cooking, as it is Thanksgiving. She’s got a cast iron skillet in her hands. Reed‘s voice is on the intercom.

And there’s a messing on the wall, and there’s dirt on the floor.

As the story goes on, it becomes apparent that there have been boarding parties on the ship. So what is on the floor, and on the wall, are the remains of something sentient. Hayes and Slocum come in. And Lili is still, barely, coherent.

Hayes takes the enemy’s rifle and leaves. However, before he does so, he translates the name on the uniform patch – She Who Almost Didn’t Breed in Time. For Lili, that could be an apt descriptor as well.

Slocum tosses away the pan, and finally breaks Lili out of her almost catatonic state. And while it is not quite business as usual, they have to go on anyway.

Lili remembers the story in Conversations with Heroes, although she feels anything but heroic.

Story Postings

Rating

The story is Rated K.

Upshot

I like how the story played out although I think I could have emphasized Lili’s panting and her fear and her coming down from an adrenaline high, a little bit more.

Nov

2013

Review – Ohio

Ohio Background

Ohio. Richard Daniels‘s second Star Trek: Enterprise adventure in time was put together fairly early and fairly quickly.

Ohio

I loved the idea of a bullet’s changing its trajectory and, as a result, significantly altering history.

I also loved the idea of showing the time period, everything from protesting to drug abuse to even free love. The music was another draw, and the discovery that Chrissie Hynde of the Pretenders really had been at Kent State at the time sealed the deal for me.

It was an irresistible combination, and the story was relatively easy to write.

Plot

First of all, as the Temporal Integrity Commission begins hiring new travelers, the first one brought in is a specialist in ancient computer systems, Sheilagh Bernstein. Sheilagh tries to decide whether to take the job, and the first part of the book deals with some of her doubts as it provides exposition. In addition, the military expert, Thomas Grant, is brought in, plus a traveling doctor, Marisol Castillo. All three receive various physical enhancements in order to make it possible for them to perform their jobs at all.

Furthermore, they all then go on training missions. Tom goes, with Kevin O’Connor, to the start of World War III (this mission is further expanded in Multiverse II). Carmen takes Marisol to the canon TOS Captain Kirk era crossover to the Mirror Universe. And finally, Rick takes Sheilagh to Kent State.

For Rick, it is open season on the honeys.

English: Chrissie Hynde in concert. Taken August 10, 2007 in Santa Barbara, CA by John Slonaker. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

First of all, he ditches Sheilagh and hooks up with Annette Bradley, a student, who calls herself Windy. He behaves more or less despicably, whereas Sheiligh just tries to blend in on campus. However, the party stops when the shooting starts, and Sheilagh’s screams of terror cause a National Guardsman to change the angle of his aim slightly. As a result, instead of Allison B. Krause dying, it’s Chrissie Hynde.

Hence this, and a small incident at the start of the Third World War, throws history into a tizzy. Everything needs repairs, and Sheilagh makes the biggest mistake any professional time traveler can make. She falls in love with the alternate timeline and the good it seems to have done for some people.

Music

Music defines the entire HG Wells series, and very much so in Ohio as the new victim is, of course, a singer. Hence these songs weave throughout the story as follows:

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young – Ohio
Shocking Blue – Venus
John Lennon – Instant Karma
Freda Payne – Band of Gold
The Jackson Five – The Love You Save
Chrissie Hynde and the Pretenders – Kid
Chrissie Hynde and the Pretenders – Talk of the Town
Bobbie Gentry – I’ll Never Fall in Love Again

Story Postings

Rating

The story is rated T.

Upshot

Overall, some areas could have used better exposition. In addition, I should have better explored the look and feel of the campus. Furthermore, some things, for sure, happened too quickly. At some point, I’ll probably expand it. It’s on my radar of things to do/fix.

You can find me on Google+.

Nov

2013

Review – Equinox

Equinox is where I had to kill one of my darlings, an event from Fortune.

Background

Equinox

For a monthly prompt about sacrifice, I wanted (as I often do) to turn it on its head. This was not to be a story about noble sacrifices for idealistic causes, with Starfleet cheering all the way. Instead, it was to be a story about personal human sacrifices, and how Starfleet can, I suspect, chew people up and spit them out.

Plot

The story begins with Malcolm telling Travis and Hoshi that he’s going to miss them. Hoshi is looking forward to spending more time with her family. Travis is trying to salvage his marriage. They are both retiring. It’s 2181, and they are the last three left of the original seven senior officers on the NX-01. T’Pol has returned to Vulcan and Phlox is back on Denobula. Tucker is dead, and Archer is pursuing a political career, which dovetails with Star Trek: Enterprise canon. With Hoshi and Travis’s retirements, Malcolm will be the last one standing.

Lafa II Southern Continent

And then he gets a call from Leonora Digiorno, and learns that Doug Beckett has died in the forests of the southern continent of Lafa II, a scene from Fortune.

Hence Malcolm knows that, no matter what, he’s got to get home and be with Lili. And he will have to set aside everything and, potentially, jeopardize his standing and his command, things he has worked very, very hard for.

But there is no question.

He will go to Lili.

Story Postings

Rating

The story is Rated K.

Upshot

So I like how it turned out, as it wove the themes of sacrifice and familial duty, crossing them with duties to Starfleet. It was a chance to fill in a few gaps left in Fortune, and to bring in the bench characters and give them great roles, people like Aidan, Chip, Deb, José, and Jennifer. The story acts as a bridge to the deeper future and continues the process of tying In Between Days to the Times of the HG Wells. Finally, I think it fulfilled its purpose well.

Nov

2013

Review – On the Radio

Radio. It can bring back a memory in a snap.

On the Radio Background

On the Radio

A friend passed away earlier in 2013, and I was having some trouble processing it. I decided to attempt to process it through art.

As a result, I worked in my own feelings by trying to tease out Hoshi and T’Pol‘s feelings about Tripp‘s passing.

And, the reason why I call this canon character Tripp instead of Trip is because of this very man who, in real life, is no more.

Plot

As Tucker has died, the two women who knew him best mourn him in different ways. T’Pol’s canon relationship is well-known. She ends up breaking down in front of Jay Hayes‘s replacement, Major Strong Bear Dawson, who everybody calls Bud. Bud is the sole eyewitness to her breakdown, and he tells her he won’t say anything to anyone. She asks how she can repay his kindness and he tells her to just go and have a good life.

Hoshi’s relationship with Tripp is outlined in Together. But the song that is the title of the piece, and is woven throughout this songfic, was played during the party outlined in More, More, More! Hoshi reveals that she and Tripp danced to it. She comes to the realization that it served as a prelude to their time together, and that Tucker may have liked her before then. For her, the music, and a dance with Travis, are how she feels she can cope.

When she and T’Pol are alone together, she passes the music from the party to the Vulcan, urging her to listen so that she can, in a way, understand another facet of Tripp’s personality, something she may not have already known. It is a final act of generosity between women who were not exactly romantic rivals, but rather were romantic steps or links in the chain that was Tripp’s life.

Music

Apart from the Donna Summer song, the entire playlist from More, More, More! is as follows –

Alicia Bridges – I Love the Night Life
The Trammps – Disco Inferno
The Bee Gees – More Than a Woman
Andrea True Connection – More, More, More!
Silver Convention – Fly, Robin, Fly
Patrick Hernandez – Born To Be Alive
Thelma Houston – Don’t Leave Me This Way
Lipps Inc. – Funky Town
Van McCoy – The Hustle
The Bee Gees – Night Fever
Kool & the Gang – Celebration
Gloria Gaynor – I Will Survive
The Weather Girls – It’s Raining Men
Michael Jackson – Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough
Lobo – Me and You and a Dog named Boo
Melanie – Brand New Key
The Captain and Tennille – Love Will Keep Us Together
Commodores – Brick House
Tavares – It Only Takes a Minute
Donna Summer – On the Radio
La Flavour – Mandolay
Earth Wind & Fire – Let’s Groove
K.C. & the Sunshine Band – That’s the Way I Like It
Village People – YMCA
The Bee Gees – Stayin’ Alive
Chic – Le Freak
Rick James – Super Freak
Tavares – Heaven Must Be Missing an Angel
Vicki Sue Robinson – Turn the Beat Around
Barry White – Can’t Get Enough of Your Love
Hues Corporation – Rock the Boat
Sister Sledge – We Are Family
Diana Ross – Love Hangover
Kool & the Gang – Ladies Night
A Taste of Honey – Boogie Oogie Oogie
Donna Summer – Last Dance

Story Postings

Rating

The story is rated K.

Upshot

As a story, I think it works pretty well. Reactions have been mixed; some critics have said they thought T’Pol would not act as forcefully as she does, but Star Trek: Enterprise canon dictates that this is a former trellium addict and so her emotions are still not fully under control, even years later.

In this story, I am probably more like the Hoshi character. Removed but mournful, and saddened by the wasted potential more than anything else. I have no problem with Tucker being killed off in canon. People die and they should die in space. Space is far from safe, particularly during that era. But I wanted to see a lot more of the aftermath. I hope this aftermath/afterimage type of story can work for readers.

Oct

2013

Review – Where No Gerbil Has Gone Before

Gerbil? Yeah. Really.

Background

In response to a prompt about comedy, the idea of fraternity-style hijinks and an all-out prank war gave rise to this silly story.

Where No Gerbil Has Gone Before

Adding to the fun is the fact that the cover comes from a screenshot of Tripp Tucker‘s quarters in the final episode of the series.

These really are his Star Trek: Enterprise canon belongings. Hence the cover and the image mesh perfectly with the action on the page (although that’s actually an armadillo).

Plot

Deb and Chip are alone in his quarters. This is her first time staying overnight. Aidan is in Sick Bay, but it’s nothing serious. Chip has a romantic evening in mind, when Deb finds … Stella.

Stella is a stuffed toy. And so Chip needs to come clean about how and why he’s got Stella (who does not belong to him). Therefore, he begins to tell a story about the early days of the NX program. This was when there was an engineering competition to perfect an incredibly dull but necessary piece of canon equipment, inertial dampers. So a big part of the plot hinges on silly things happening when people are supposed to be ultra-serious.

Story Postings

Rating

The Story is Rated K.

Upshot

I enjoyed writing this story a great deal, and apparently my peers enjoyed reading it. Because I won the monthly challenge! I really like it. This includes how it dovetails with canon personnel, its shout outs to Worcester Polytechnical Institute in Worcester, Massachusetts (a place I have visited several times), and its neat fit into my own fan fiction. Because the story is silly, it covers up a few more difficult issues. These include Aidan being in sickbay, and Emory Erickson reminiscing about Quinn. However, it also works as a means of getting people onto the ship who do not originally belong there. Chip in particular gets a good explanation of why he’s there in the first place.

Oct

2013

Review – The Play at the Plate

The Play at the Plate – In response to a prompt about obstacles, I immediately visualized a catcher blocking the plate in baseball.

Background

Hall of Mirrors

That led my thoughts to mirror baseball, and I also thought of Game Night, which is my Star Trek: Enterprise fanfiction Mirror Universe counterpart to Movie Night. Hence the story began to fall into place.

Plot

It’s 2162, not too long after the events of Temper and Fortune, and Andrew Miller is calling for bets for a mirror baseball game as catcher David Constantine seeks to block runner Ty Janeway from scoring. Andrew is the Empress’s current toy. But in walks the new pilot, Melissa Madden.

Dumbstruck and more than a little smitten, Andy takes Melissa’s bet. And, when she loses, she offers to allow him to come to her quarters and collect. But Frank Ramirez reminds Andrew that it is just not a good idea. Andy, to his detriment, eventually ignores that sage advice. And that is a very bad idea indeed. Because, essentially, Andy is sealing his own fate. This is not a happy fate at all.

Story Postings

Rating

The Story is Rated K+.

Upshot

I like the little inklings in here, that there is something that could potentially be between them, but the Empress Hoshi Sato will never let Andrew break free. Furthermore, when the principals conspire, and later when Andrew makes his escape, these decisions haunt him. Andrew Miller is very much a tragic figure in the Mirror Universe. He is the person who, amidst an environment where everyone takes whatever they want, he cannot have just what – who – he wants the most.

You can find me on Google+.

Oct

2013

Review – Apple

Apple? So of course I thought of temptation.

Background

In Between Days

For my own prompt about temptation, I decided to fill in a missing scene from Reversal. The idea was also to dovetail with a scene in Fortune, where Shelby and Travis spend time together, and it appears that they might be starting a relationship soon.

But I did not want things to run smoothly.

Plot

It is the day after the day of all-orange food. Lili is not sleeping well, because she has been dreaming about Doug. Jennifer is even teasing her a bit about it. And just like in Reversal, this is somewhat embarrassing to Lili.

A perfect Gala

She sets out harvest produce for the crew, and then Lili explains what’s available for dessert. It is a fruit and cheese plate. Malcolm looks up as she is speaking, thereby neatly prefiguring his own interest in her. Much later in my fan fiction, he confesses he was first smitten with her on the day of the all-orange food. She seemed to be a lot like “sunshine and happiness”.

Shelby picks up an uncut, perfectly ripe Gala apple, and she offers it to Travis. Tripp Tucker even jokes about Adam and Eve. And then Travis flees the scene.

Story Postings

Rating

The Story is Rated K.

Upshot

For a small fill-in scene, I think the story works just fine. I would not add it permanently to Reversal, though, as I feel it would interrupt a lot of the flow. But it was fun to add a different slant to a day in that story that doesn’t get a lot of detail. This time around, the characters get more depth and dimension.

Review – Before the Fall

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Forward into the Past

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Review – There’s Something Else About Hoshi

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Matchmaking on a Planetary Scale

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Review – The Mess

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Review – Equinox

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Review – On the Radio

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Review – Where No Gerbil Has Gone Before

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Review – The Play at the Plate

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Review – Apple

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