Cameron Diaz

Pocket Conflicts

The most recent Boldly Reading prompt was about pocket conflicts. And that can only mean one person.

This is the Total Jerkface Conflict Number I Dunno Whatever!

My name is Marie Patrice Beckett, but just about everybody calls me Empy. The date is, um, January 12, 2173 and I just turned thirteen yesterday. This is my most secretest of diaries so I gotta say something right now, and that is – NO BOYS ALLOWED!!!

Honestly! They are such a pain in my keister. See, our family lives on Lafa II, and it’s kinda complex so I have a full-blooded brother and I have three half-brothers, okay? But other than us, there aren’t a lot of human kids, so we’re mainly all thrown together all the time. It totally does not help that the school is like this one-room schoolhouse. I swear, it’s more like 1873 than 2173! Yeah, I know!

But yeah – BOYS – Gawd, they make me crazy. There are Calafan guys, too, but they’re, I dunno, they’re mostly better, I guess. Mostly – it’s not like it’s a miracle or anything.

So, like, first off, for my birthday, I did my hair all nice and I was wearing red and I looked really good, like this, see?

Me (as portrayed by Cameron Diaz)

Me (as portrayed by Cameron Diaz)

Am I not totally adorable here?


Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, my brothers, the bane of my existence. So first there’s my full brother, Joss, who is like the biggest jerk, ever. I don’t know what my friend Jia sees in him. He is such a pain! See, he’s already almost fourteen and a half and the Calafans let you learn how to drive.

I know, girlfriend diary.

Anyway, so he’s learning to drive, so our Mom, Lili, she takes him out all the time, and half the time I’m in the back, and I’m bored outta my skull. But I can’t just look at my PADD ’cause he kinda starts and stops and our Mom, she keeps stamping on the floor on her side, like she’s got a brake there, or something. Confidentially, I think she thinks he’s too young to be driving but our Dad, Doug, he seems to be okay with it but he goes off with his military unit and he doesn’t have to deal with it. So, it’s like really distracting, all of that starting and stopping and stamping, and the movement all just makes me nauseous. So, you know, a PADD is like out of the question.

Tommy and Neil

Then there’s Tommy, who is one of our three half-brothers. And he and I get along okay, but you should see him at the Calafan festivals! There are maybe a ton of them and I swear he’s got a dream girl who he contacts and that gets our friend Cindy all angry ’cause I think they’re supposed to be going out even though Tommy is like a few months younger than I am.

And his little brother, Neil, well, Neil is totally studious and his nose is always in his PADD. I swear that he’s working all the time and you know what they say about all work and no play. He can be so boring sometimes.


Declan is, like, the easiest one to get along with but he’s another one with a nose in his PADD all the time. He is always drawing! He barely pays attention to what you say, but he does seem to pay attention to a person’s looks. His Dad doesn’t come around as much as he should, I gotta say, but it’s ’cause he’s teaching combat training on Earth and sometimes he’s an acting captain. I swear, they’d better make Mackum – uh, Malcolm Reed – a for-real captain before we all get any older!

So, like, there are also human boys who are not related who live on this planet, but not too many of them. Dave Ryan is just too dopey and puppy-like for words. But Ken Masterson might be okay. When he and his folks visited my folks from the Cochrane, he was, you know, he was hanging around while his Mom, Deb Haddon Masterson, was doing something with my Mom in our kitchen, and his Dad, Chip Masterson, was out back playing horseshoes and drinking beers with my Dad. And, like, Ken was asking if a boy had ever kissed me before. And I was gonna answer him but my stupid brothers were around and it was just not a good time. That was last year.


But let me tell you about yesterday. So, like I was all dolled up, all nice, but I spilled a little grape juice on my red dress so I changed into a red tee shirt and shorts and we were gonna go to my Mom’s restaurant, Reversal, and stuff. And it was gonna be nice and kinda classy and stuff.

And then my stupid brothers – it was Joss who was the ringleader, did I tell you he’s the biggest jerk? Well, if I didn’t, he is a total jerkface. Anyway, so my stupid brothers, they pelted me with water balloons and we were already running really late and my Dad was, like, “You don’t have the time to change.” And I was, like, “But Dad, I look like a total loser!” And he was, like, “Your Mom is gonna be sooooo pissed if we’re late.” ‘Cause Mackum had come over, and it was, you know, they hadn’t seen each other in a while and it was a surprise and all that even though it was MY birthday!

I swear, sometimes, girlfriend diary.

Me, like, totally dorky (as portrayed by Cameron Diaz)

Me, like, totally dorky (as portrayed by Cameron Diaz)

So, like, we had to go and I didn’t have the time to fix my hair so I ended up looking totally dorky, just like this.

I swear to God, Jeremiah Logan Beckett, you can run, but you can’t hide.

And I will get my revenge in September, when you turn fifteen. I swear to God, or my name isn’t Empy.

Posted by jespah in Fan fiction, In Between Days series, 5 comments

Portrait of a Character – Marie Patrice (Empy) Beckett

Portrait of a Character – Marie Patrice (Empy) Beckett

Marie Patrice is a bit of a brat.


At the end of Together, I wanted the very, very ending to be a bit of a surprise. Lili is pregnant throughout, with a kicking machine of a child. Everybody thinks she’s having a boy, and she and Doug have selected the name Peter Matthew. Lili refers to the baby as Petey.

But the baby turns out to be a girl. Enter Marie Patrice Beckett.


Marie Patrice is portrayed by Cameron Diaz.

Portrait of a Character – Marie Patrice (Empy) Beckett

Cameron Diaz as Empy Beckett

I like how Diaz can be goofy in one film, and serious in another.

Marie Patrice is beautiful, but also rather susceptible to ambition and suggestion. She’s a little spoiled, and is not always so nice to either her full brother, Joss, or her half-brothers, Tommy, Neil and Declan. A bit of a tomboy at first, she plays soccer and calls herself Empy (MP).

Sibling rivalry is alive, well and living in the BeckettO’DayReedDigiornoMadden family, and Marie Patrice is one of its biggest proponents and practitioners.


A bit overly concerned with her appearance, Marie Patrice is perhaps overindulged by her parents. Doug, in particular, seems a bit at a loss as to what to do with her.


Kenneth Masterson

The son of Chip and Deb, Ken is a divorced man who seems to have a great deal of patience with Marie Patrice. In Fortune, he is identified as her long-term boyfriend, but they never wed.

Kira Sato

The Empress’s second-born, Kira, fights for her, but loses out to his half-brother, Jun. Marie Patrice is not too upset about this. She figures that being with Jun will give her more and better opportunities than Kira ever could. She cares about Kira, but not as much as she cares about her position.

Theme Music

To reflect her languid attitude toward sex and companionship in the mirror, her theme is Sinead O’Connor‘s I Want Your Hands on Me.

Mirror Universe

Portrait of a Character – Marie Patrice (Empy) Beckett

Marie Patrice in the Mirror Universe (Cameron Diaz)

Like her siblings, Marie Patrice spends some time in the Mirror Universe, during Temper. But an actual counterpart is impossible.

While in the mirror, she gets along well with Takara Sato, and together they compare the boys and generally look to make the best possible matches for themselves, with little thought for love or other such messy considerations. Two boys fight a duel for her, using swords. She is a bit disappointed in the outcome.


“My mother was a ghost. I only remember a light grey shadow.”


A little spoiled, a little flighty and rather artistic, Empy is symbolic of all of the non-Mary Sue ensuing generation characters. Not everyone’s kids will be perfect. Will she be back? Maybe, but I will admit it. She annoys me, too.

Posted by jespah in Fan fiction, Hall of Mirrors, In Between Days series, Portrait, 25 comments