jespah

Shuttlepod pilot, fan fiction writer, sentient marsupial canid.

Dec

2013

Review – There’s Something Else About Hoshi

Background

For a Star Trek fanfiction Weekly Free Write about setting a scene, I decided to revisit Aris and an older story, There’s Something About Hoshi.

In Between Days

In the earlier tale, Hoshi becomes irresistible when aliens inject her with a certain substance after removing some of her female hormones.

Frank Todd and T’Pol help to prevent a riot from starting on the NX-01, as all of the straight men (and, presumably, Diana Jones, who is a lesbian), are affected.

The sequel brings the story line over eighteen years into the future.

Plot

As Hoshi and her husband, Takashi, and their children, Toru and Yoshiko arrive on Aris for a visit, the head of the government, Milit, greets them.

And so, apparently, do all 5,999 other Arisian men on the planet.

Hailed as Andaara Trea Hoshi, they explain they are thanking her. They call her the initiator of the 6,000 brand-new ‘mothers of the world’. Every Arisian man is bearing some sort of a gift. Travis, who is with them, jokes that they’ll need a bigger shuttle in order to get all of the gifts back to the ship.

Politely, Hoshi declines their many offerings. These vary in size, scope and expense, but are all offered with grace. The family meets some of the newly-cloned Arisian women, including the first one, Trea Hoshi. The girls are all more or less made in Hoshi’s image. This is except for a detailed forehead pattern that marks them as Arisians.

Matchmaking on a Planetary Scale

Alpine ibex Correction: Nubian Ibex Deutsch: A…

The men explain they want to marry all of the newly-cloned girls. Hence they are ready to match them up. It seems the matches will happen through political expedience, rather than any sort of attraction. Travis and Hoshi convince the Arisians to give the gifts to the girls, and to see what happens next. The story ends with Milit announcing his engagement to one of the girls and then Hoshi telling Captain Malcolm Reed that he’d better warn Lili that she’ll need to cater a few thousand Arisian weddings.

Story Postings

Rating

The story is Rated K.

Upshot

I was so happy to go back to this story line. Because I had originally left it with hope but also dangling a bit. I can see that my storytelling abilities have improved since the original tale, too. It’s a study in contrasts for me.

You can find me on Google+.

Dec

2013

Portrait of a Character – Daniel Beauchaine

Daniel Beauchaine has a history.

Origins

At first, in the older time travel series I had created on my own, Dan was a survivalist and had something of a romance with Alice Trent. As I moved that series to Star Trek fanfiction, and it became Times of the HG Wells, I decided that Alice would only be brought on during an alternate timeline.

Portrayal

Dan is portrayed by Jason Alexander.

Jason Alexander as Daniel Beauchaine (image is for educational purposes only)

I like this actor’s fussiness and nervousness in portrayals. I feel this works well with Dan, who is a mass of inconsistencies and tics, as would befit someone living more than one life. He’s an employee of the Temporal Integrity Commission. He’s an operative for Section 31.

And he’s a member of the rogue group altering time for its own purposes, the Perfectionists.

Personality

Twitchy, nervous and jumpy, Dan has ample reason to feel like everyone’s out to get him.

That’s because they are.

He is not just double crossing; he’s triple crossing.

Hence it cannot be easy, living a life like Dan’s. He is constantly on the lookout, and he can trust no one. So in Shake Your Body, it all points to one end, and one alone.

Mirror Universe

Jason Alexander as MU Daniel Beauchaine (image is for educational purposes only)

In the Mirror universe, I can see Dan as being much more of a survivalist, without the corruption and double dealings he has resorted to in the prime universe.

However, he is not necessarily more moral; I think it’s more that he would be separate from society. Perhaps he’s even a hermit of some sort.

Quote

“Get a hold of yourself, Beauchaine. No one’s going to fault you for any grammatical errors in your damned suicide note.”

Upshot

I don’t know how well I showed Dan’s motivations; this feels like a character I did not serve well. Plus I kind of fell out of love with him, and that seems to show in the writing of him. So I should rectify that at some point in the future.

Dec

2013

Inspiration – Employment

Employment doesn’t always come easy.

Background

Like most adults of my generation, I have gone out to work.

I’ve had good jobs and bad ones, interesting ones and dull ones. So I’ve had challenges. And I’ve been browbeaten, and I’ve gotten inspiration. Hence I’ve come home exhilarated, weepy, frustrated and exhausted. I’ve had situations that I wished would never end. And I’ve had jobs where I was climbing the walls, impatient to leave already.

These experiences can and do inform my Star Trek fanfiction at times.

Connections to Trek

Kirk and Pike

The best and closest connection is in the HG Wells series. Those stories, in addition to being about Richard Daniels and his enlightenment, and about various romances and of course about time, they are also, very much, about the world of work.

Interviews

A Long, Long Time Ago contains within it a group interview and then a series of small one on one meetings. Otra conducts at least one of these meeting. She is okay with the candidate. That is, until someone else hears her being referred to, by that candidate, as a salad head. That’s a slur, so that candidate is out, and there is no question.

Orientation

Ohio centers around three separate training missions. Carmen takes Marisol to the Mirror universe. Kevin takes Tom to the start of World War III. And Rick takes Sheilagh to 1970 Kent State. Tom and Sheilagh also get various surgeries in order to assist them in performing their jobs, so Boris gets something to do, too.

Vacation Time

You Mixed-Up Siciliano, meant to be a vacation in time (it’s 1960 Rome) turns into a disaster when Rick and Sheilagh are targeted by an assassin.

Upshot

So we like to think that Starfleet personnel just magically appear. And we think that the best people are always in those jobs. Or there is very little effort behind that. To my mind, that never rang true. I think there was effort behind it. And I also think that, sometimes, it’s not the best person who gets the job. Just like real life.

Dec

2013

Review – The Mess

This mess should be really disturbing.

Background

In Between Days

This scene was a part of Reversal, and in Fortune, but it never really got its due until a Weekly Free Write about chores.

I wanted very much to have a story that starts off as cleaning a kitchen and then, well, what sort of dirt is it, anyway?

You don’t want to know.

Plot

On November 22nd of 2153, Lili is alone in the NX-01‘s kitchen. She is panting. The air smells like turkey cooking, as it is Thanksgiving. She’s got a cast iron skillet in her hands. Reed‘s voice is on the intercom.

And there’s a messing on the wall, and there’s dirt on the floor.

As the story goes on, it becomes apparent that there have been boarding parties on the ship. So what is on the floor, and on the wall, are the remains of something sentient. Hayes and Slocum come in. And Lili is still, barely, coherent.

Hayes takes the enemy’s rifle and leaves. However, before he does so, he translates the name on the uniform patch – She Who Almost Didn’t Breed in Time. For Lili, that could be an apt descriptor as well.

Slocum tosses away the pan, and finally breaks Lili out of her almost catatonic state. And while it is not quite business as usual, they have to go on anyway.

Lili remembers the story in Conversations with Heroes, although she feels anything but heroic.

Story Postings

Rating

The story is Rated K.

Upshot

I like how the story played out although I think I could have emphasized Lili’s panting and her fear and her coming down from an adrenaline high, a little bit more.

Dec

2013

Portrait of a Character – Deirdre Katzman

Deirdre Katzman comes from older wholly original fiction.

Origins

While writing the HG Wells Star Trek fanfiction stories, I decided I wanted someone who was more or less together, but would be rather young. Furthermore, this person would be a protegé to Kevin O’Connor and would have a mischievous sense of humor. Hence they’d be responsible for naming the time ships. I also loved the idea of a Jewish-Japanese character, and so Deirdre was born.

Portrayal

Deirdre is played by actress Noriko Nakagoshi.

Deirdre Katzman

I like this lovely, petite woman. The actress has actually been in horror pictures. I don’t know too much about her.

Personality

Friendly, albeit a little quirky, Deirdre is probably the most well-adjusted of the engineers at the Temporal Integrity Commission. Kevin is in mourning when the series starts. As for Levi, well, he’s just plain weird.

Because she’s pleasant, Kevin leans on her more than he leans on Levi, but Levi is too oblivious to notice most of the time.

Relationships

Bruce Ishikawa

During A Long, Long Time Ago, Deirdre is set up by family members and goes out on a more or less blind date with a fellow Jewish-Japanese person, Bruce, who is a dog trainer. They hit it off and begin dating in earnest immediately, and by Ohio, he is referred to as her boyfriend.

It is the epitome of a sweet, youthful romance. They talk baby talk to each other on their communicators, often saying things like, “No, you hang up first.” She cooks for him. They are inseparable. Their parents push for a wedding.

When, in The Point is Probably Moot, the time change ensures that she’s forgotten him, he sticks it out, and attempts to woo and win her again.

Mirror Universe

Portrait of a Character – Deirdre Katzman

Mirror Deirdre (Noriko Nakagoshi)

I haven’t written a mirror Deirdre, but there’s no reason why she wouldn’t exist.

In the Mirror, most of the women are poorly treated, and trade their bodies for favors and privileges. Deirdre would not be any different.

Yet I can see her as being tougher and harder, and possibly using her smarts to further her own agenda. Maybe she’s a revolutionary.

Quote

“You don’t need to protect her. How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have an ungrateful child. That’s from King Lear if you’re unsure. She doesn’t deserve you taking the fall for her.”

Upshot

Dee is a character who doesn’t really get her due. I really should find a way for her to shine.

Nov

2013

Progress Report – November 2013

November 2013 was my first-ever NaNoWriMo!

Posted Works

Because of NaNoWriMo, I mainly did not post. However, I did continue spinning Take Back the Night out on Fanfiction.net.

I was also persuaded to answer the monthly challenge on Ad Astra, which was about remembrance. I wrote and posted In Memory of Kelsey Haber, and I responded to a weekly challenge about headlines with the Rona Moran-centric Gossip gossip.

In order to see if it would be a good place for some more of my less-popular works, I decided to add my two related slash stories, Detached Curiosity & Idle Speculation and The Way to a Man’s Heart to The G and T Show’s Forums.

Also, in order to see if it made any difference, I added three wholly original stories to Wattpad, There is a Road, The Dish and Revved Up. As expected, the first one in particular did better than my Star Trek fan fiction stories. That site is, it seems, better-geared to completely original fiction, mainly because their fanfiction section is so overwhelmingly dominated by One Direction fan fictions and the tweens and teens that write it.

Milestones

For individual read counts, the following stories have 20,000 or more on one URL –

Reversal

For individual read counts, the following stories have 10,000 or more on one URL –

All of these were accomplished on Ad Astra.

In addition, the following stories have between 5,000 and 9,999 reads on one URL –

A Long, Long Time Ago
Everybody Knows This is Nowhere (milestone achieved this month)
He Stays a Stranger
Hold Your Dominion
Ohio
Spring Thaw
Take Back the Night
The Three of Us
Where the Wind Comes Sweepin’ Down the Plain

Combined Read Counts

Apart from the others at over 5,000 reads for just one URL, the following combine to 5,000 – 9,999 reads when you consider all postings’ URLs –

WIP Corner

I worked on Untrustworthy, my NaNoWriMo story, and got to 51,000 words on the fourteenth. So I decided to see if I could publish it, so I’ve been keeping it offline for now.

I also worked on a much older wholly original story, The Obolonk Murders, to see if I could finish it and get it into publishing shape at some point.

Prep Work

I created and maintained an Untrustworthy wiki.

This Month’s Productivity Killers

NaNoWriMo! Plus I continued looking for work.

Nov

2013

Review – Ohio

Ohio Background

Ohio. Richard Daniels‘s second Star Trek: Enterprise adventure in time was put together fairly early and fairly quickly.

Ohio

I loved the idea of a bullet’s changing its trajectory and, as a result, significantly altering history.

I also loved the idea of showing the time period, everything from protesting to drug abuse to even free love. The music was another draw, and the discovery that Chrissie Hynde of the Pretenders really had been at Kent State at the time sealed the deal for me.

It was an irresistible combination, and the story was relatively easy to write.

Plot

First of all, as the Temporal Integrity Commission begins hiring new travelers, the first one brought in is a specialist in ancient computer systems, Sheilagh Bernstein. Sheilagh tries to decide whether to take the job, and the first part of the book deals with some of her doubts as it provides exposition. In addition, the military expert, Thomas Grant, is brought in, plus a traveling doctor, Marisol Castillo. All three receive various physical enhancements in order to make it possible for them to perform their jobs at all.

Furthermore, they all then go on training missions. Tom goes, with Kevin O’Connor, to the start of World War III (this mission is further expanded in Multiverse II). Carmen takes Marisol to the canon TOS Captain Kirk era crossover to the Mirror Universe. And finally, Rick takes Sheilagh to Kent State.

For Rick, it is open season on the honeys.

English: Chrissie Hynde in concert. Taken August 10, 2007 in Santa Barbara, CA by John Slonaker. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

First of all, he ditches Sheilagh and hooks up with Annette Bradley, a student, who calls herself Windy. He behaves more or less despicably, whereas Sheiligh just tries to blend in on campus. However, the party stops when the shooting starts, and Sheilagh’s screams of terror cause a National Guardsman to change the angle of his aim slightly. As a result, instead of Allison B. Krause dying, it’s Chrissie Hynde.

Hence this, and a small incident at the start of the Third World War, throws history into a tizzy. Everything needs repairs, and Sheilagh makes the biggest mistake any professional time traveler can make. She falls in love with the alternate timeline and the good it seems to have done for some people.

Music

Music defines the entire HG Wells series, and very much so in Ohio as the new victim is, of course, a singer. Hence these songs weave throughout the story as follows:

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young – Ohio
Shocking Blue – Venus
John Lennon – Instant Karma
Freda Payne – Band of Gold
The Jackson Five – The Love You Save
Chrissie Hynde and the Pretenders – Kid
Chrissie Hynde and the Pretenders – Talk of the Town
Bobbie Gentry – I’ll Never Fall in Love Again

Story Postings

Rating

The story is rated T.

Upshot

Overall, some areas could have used better exposition. In addition, I should have better explored the look and feel of the campus. Furthermore, some things, for sure, happened too quickly. At some point, I’ll probably expand it. It’s on my radar of things to do/fix.

You can find me on Google+.

Nov

2013

Starts

So starts matter as much as endings.

Boldly Reading asks us, now, about Beginnings.

First sentences, first kisses, first missions, etc. – what are some of your favorite ‘firsts’ on Ad Astra? What sorts of openings and firsts and premieres get you to keep reading?

I enjoy a good beginning as much as anyone else does, I suppose. Crafting the perfect opening line is a challenge, and some writers do a better job of it than others, just like anything else. Here’s a great one.

“I was sure I was going to die, but was so afraid I wouldn’t in time.”

Little Black Dog’s Aftermath cuts right in, immediately, and you realize that something awful has happened, and is being (maybe) recovered from.

Here’s another.

He spoke flawless Federation Standard, possessed perfect visual acuity and hearing abilities unmatched by human ears.

kes7’s Year One opens not necessarily with a bang, but it’s obvious that whoever this is, he’s physically superior to humans. Is he an Augment, perhaps?

DHA Molecule (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And here’s one more, if you’ll indulge me.

“I … I think …(that) I need to see a doctor.”

trekfan’s While You Were Unconscious pulls two people together, although the details are a little … tricky. Yeah, there’s a good word for it.

Bonus questions!

How do you convert blank pages and blank computer documents into works of art? How do you get first ideas? What gets you started, or re-started?

I find that, for me, getting a story started is difficult but of course it’s necessary. Otherwise, nothing is ever produced! But sometimes the ideal opening is elusive. When that happens, I try to write the middle, or even the end. And I will go over and over again, in my mind, when it comes to the opening line of a story. I want the reader to continue, of course, but what I also want is to set the tone.

Reversal

Reversal‘s opening line was written on the fly (as was nearly all of that story). It is, simply, this –

It didn’t hurt.

I really, really hope the reader’s question is – what didn’t hurt?

It is, possibly, the best opening I have ever written, and it colored the remainder of the story. Other stories have had good openings. I particularly like the ones for Paving Stones (“He’s too young.”) and for Brown (They were both pregnant at the same time.). Both of these opening lines defined the stories that followed, and shaped them.

The Week Never Starts Round Here (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Often a good opening line can get me going, and can really sustain me. However, sometimes I need to get a restart. This is especially after I’ve had to leave a story for a while, for some reason or another.

One thing I try to do is to keep writing (this includes blogging). More or less continually getting ideas onto paper or pixels means that it takes a while for all ideas to dry up. But sometimes that’s not feasible. When it isn’t, I also like to just reread my work, and not necessarily the work I’m trying to finish. I just need to, I feel, review past successes, at times, to remind myself that I can still do it.

Here’s to new beginnings for us all.

Nov

2013

Portrait of a Character – Thomas Grant

Thomas Grant comes from a very long time ago in my writing history.

Origins

When I was first writing a series of original murder mysteries back in the 1980s, I wanted a character who would essentially be the perfect guy. Now, of course, I know that better characters have flaws. But no matter; that’s how Tom was born, and ended up in my Star Trek fanfiction.

Portrayal

Barking up the Muse Tree | Jespah | Janet Gershen-Siegel | Thomas Grant | Tom

Josh Duhamel as Thomas Grant (Tom) – image is for educational purposes

Tom is played by actor Josh Duhamel.

I like his look although I confess I was thinking of Tom as being darker when I first pictured him. But I like this clearly very good-looking man who is also extremely intense.

Personality

Straight-laced and methodical, Tom is ex-military, and it shows in almost everything he does and says. He does not pursue any of the women at work, as he feels it would be improper. He is there to do a job, and nothing more.

But he still wants someone so, when he is introduced to, he feels, the perfect woman, he hems and haws and frets but eventually they are able to get together.

Tom is another distant descendant of Doug and Melissa, and is a very distant cousin of Kevin O’Connor and Rick Daniels.

Relationships

Eleanor Daniels

That perfect woman is Rick’s sister, Eleanor. They meet at the end of Ohio, when the department goes out together. But he hesitates, and she wants him to make the first move. It takes him a few books to get his act in gear enough. He also tells her he loves her under what, to him, are the least favorable circumstances, but it’s even more endearing. When he proposes, she gives him the Cuff of Lo, meaning that their love will endure.

Mirror Universe

Barking up the Muse Tree | Jespah | Janet Gershen-Siegel | MU Thomas Grant | Tom

Josh Duhamel as MU Thomas Grant (Tom) – image is for educational purposes

With little discipline, but a lot of intelligence and will, I can see Tom in the Mirror Universe as being, potentially, an emotionless psychopath. He would almost be the reverse of Marisol.

He would certainly be a far cry from the moral, upstanding hero he is in the prime universe.

Quote

“You were; it was supposed to be, we would go out for a nice dinner. And you’d look beau – uh, more beautiful than you usually do. I would be, uh, wearing a, a suit. And we’d go walking some, some place pretty. And I, I would tell you. But it, it’s not like that. The conditions are, they’re all wrong.”

Upshot

Stories need heroes, and Tom is definitely one. He will return.

Nov

2013

Focus – The Earth-Romulan War

The Earth-Romulan War is canon but was not a part of Enterprise.

A focus (unlike a spotlight) is an in-depth look at a Star Trek fanfiction canon item and my twist(s) on it.

Of course, all of fan fiction is like that, but the idea here is to provide a window into how a single canon concept works in fan fiction.

Background

The Earth-Romulan War is a part canon never actually on screen. For a lot of fans, it is a missed opportunity in Star Trek: Enterprise. If the series had gone onto seven seasons instead of just four, undoubtedly they would get to the war.

Occurrences

Dispatches from the Romulan War

A few years ago, I became part of a project called Dispatches from the Romulan War. Dispatches has been posted in a lot of locations. My two contributions are Soldiers’ Marriage Project, which introduced character Rona Moran, and Prison Break, which was intended to give some hope that some people thought dead at the start of the war were actually alive. Further, it had a prison called Gemara, at Berren Five. I have used this on several occasions and it was first mentioned in The Puzzle.

Before the War

As a run-up to the war, in The Further Adventures of Porthos – The Stilton Fulfillment, the NX-01 hosts the Caitian ambassador and his family. However, the ship suffers some damage in a quick hit and run. This is much like hostilities can ramp up in prelude to a real war.

The Beginning of Hostilities

After some more leisurely exploratory moments, such as are in The Light, Intolerance and Reversal, things get down to business in Together. While the ship speeds toward Earth to deliver Jennifer Crossman to her wedding to Frank Ramirez, things are at a bit of a lull. But when ten people are kidnapped off the ship, T’Pol needs to work with her allies in order to find them again. There isn’t a lot of time to divert to this mission, but she still needs to try.

Breaks in the Action

Broken Seal follows a few short incidents of hijinks even during the hostilities. The same is true of first contact with the Daranaeans, in The Cure is Worse Than the Disease. Another case of hijinks is in Where No Gerbil Has Gone Before. But all is not right, and the reason why Chip and Deb are alone in his quarters at all is because Aidan is hurt enough that Phlox keeps him in Sick Bay overnight. In Temper, the war is again on interrupt as Malcolm, Jonathan and Tripp need to work to protect the NX-01 from damage from an errant pulse shot.

Aftermath

Achieving Peace shows the last of the treaty negotiations. Laura Hayes is there. And in Shell Shock, protesters are angry with Starfleet’s involvement in two wars in such a short period of time. A part of Malcolm’s problems during that story are his memories of the war. This includes the particularly brutal death of an anonymous crew member.

Upshot

For this huge gap in canon, there was no reason to not cover it. Hell, it’s the elephant in the room, when it comes to the ENT era.

Why not show it?

The Earth-Romulan War will be back in my writing; I guarantee it.

Review – There’s Something Else About Hoshi

Background

Plot

Matchmaking on a Planetary Scale

Story Postings

Rating

Upshot

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Portrait of a Character – Daniel Beauchaine

Origins

Portrayal

Personality

Mirror Universe

Quote

Upshot

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Inspiration – Employment

Background

Connections to Trek

Interviews

Orientation

Vacation Time

Upshot

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Review – The Mess

Background

Plot

Story Postings

Rating

Upshot

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Portrait of a Character – Deirdre Katzman

Origins

Portrayal

Personality

Relationships

Bruce Ishikawa

Mirror Universe

Quote

Upshot

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Progress Report – November 2013

Posted Works

Milestones

Combined Read Counts

WIP Corner

Prep Work

This Month’s Productivity Killers

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Ohio Background

Plot

Music

Story Postings

Rating

Upshot

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Starts

Bonus questions!

Reversal

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Portrait of a Character – Thomas Grant

Origins

Portrayal

Personality

Relationships

Eleanor Daniels

Mirror Universe

Quote

Upshot

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Focus – The Earth-Romulan War